Tennessee is hot and humid and it feels like there is a giant cock-roach in the sky holding a magnifying glass focusing the sun beams on to your head. They are making up for years of anti-roach propaganda (funded by exterminators, but that's a whole different conspiracy that I shall unravel before your very eyes at a later date*)
(The King-Roach, rumour has it he invented bubblegum)
So I have been here for five days now and i think I'm starting to see how it works here. It is black and white (and that's not a reference to the sub-text of 'tension'). There's is no grey. Your either big or small. Rich or poor. A Mexican or a midget from Tibet etc.
Ok so that's a vast generalization....
(dogs do not generalize, they are very against that concept)
...because after all you can't judge an entire society from the action or views of the extreme minority (YES I mean Rednecks or ignorant 'amuuurricaaaans). However,unfortunately that extreme is so visible over here you would need to gouge your eyes out with a plectrum not see see it.
So examples...
(The rapper example is very protective of his favourite giant rubix cube)
And i need to be very elitist with my choice of examples as this week has been vuuury busy (Sorry to all the other things I did but am not going to mention, it's not that I don't like you but sometimes life is like a box of chocolates etc**.)
So I went to a giant flea market (that is not a market run by giant fleas, well at least not any more or not that any one spoke about it, so if they do they must employ humans) and it is pretty much a giant warehouse filled with stuff rednecks found in their house (trailer or carved out block of giant cheese) and sell to other rednecks, or people that love buying Redneck people's stuff just to stand across from their trailers and set the stuff on fire, then they collect the Rednecks tears and sell it back to them...probably.
And inside that place you can buy a crazy amount of completely random objects such as:
miniature retarded dogs trapped inside tiny cages, knifes, swords, cutlasses, cat-o-nine-tails, medieval maces, suits of armour,walking canes with swords inside, candy canes with swords inside, food, meat, furniture, clothes, little glass midgets, a box of toenails, someones wife, their child, the child their wife gave up to another guy, posters, books, bottles of spit....etc etc blah blah.
And inside this crazy messed up department store for schizophrenics the people selling the sheeet were THE definition of Rednecks...
(Not many people know this but Rednecks have invented anti-gravity mud)
...A microcosm of this would be the guy with a soup stained wife beater who weighed about 1000 pounds and was getting a foot massage from an equally weighty woman with one eye and a t-shirt with a blood stained dog on it that read 'I don't dial 911' (even if she gets sick, she lets her dog treat her, apparently he's medicare certified).
And next to this place there was a relic store where you could by guns and bullets from the war of independance and a blood-staned Nazi arm band from the War against everyone that wasn't German and blonde and a whole bunch of other things that the guy that wasn't like that wanted everyone else to be...Yeah, welcome to the South!!
Ok so I have been rambling and you have probably developed a little brain bleed, so I would advise you consult your local witch-doctor or at least visit a Nomadic Shaman or something.
I will be back later with more information until then stay safe and...skeet skeet.
(Lil-Jons original surname was Windsor)
*intentional cliff-hanger moment
**Dear Robert Zemeckis I promise when I am rich I will buy you a big armchair and put it on top of a mountain as a gift for stealing your line.
